TOW a Westchester Christanukkah
by writerchic16
Summary: /post-Season 10/ The gang celebrates the holidays at the Bings' house for the first time. Joey is stuck on the train to Westchester after he is already late.
1. Chapter 1

**TOW a Westchester Christanukkah **

Summary: Monica and Chandler try to combine their two holidays for the twins' first holiday season. Rachel and Ross argue over how to build the dollhouse they got Emma. Joey tries to get home from California for the holidays. Phoebe and Mike wonder how they're going to make a very special announcement.

A/N: I didn't have a holiday fanfic for this year, and I usually try to do one to get in the Christmas spirit. For those waiting for another _Cousins_ update, I'm really sorry. School and NaNoWriMo put everything on hold. But, NaNoWriMo has been done since November 30th, and school is pretty much done for the semester.

What I'm trying to say is, _Cousins_ will be back in January. For now, enjoy my Friends holiday story!

Also – my favorite episodes were the ones where everyone was together (TOW No One's Ready, anyone?). This is my little tribute to that.

* * *

_'Twas the time of Christanukkah, a__nd all through the Bings' house, _

_Every Friend was stirring, a__long with their spouse. _

_The presents were wrapped and children watched with care, _

_In hopes that Uncle Joey would soon be there..._

**Chapter 1**

Chandler held a squirming Erica in his arms. Her brother had fallen asleep in the playpen next to him, sleeping like a…well, a baby. Erica was showing no signs of weariness, however, and was giggling as he bounced her in his arms.

It was Christmas Eve, and Monica had ordered that the twins take a nap before their friends arrived at four that afternoon. She wanted them awake and at their full cuteness level so that she could show them off appropriately. As Monica often said in a sweet baby voice to either one of the twins: "Who's cuter than your cousin? Yes you are!"

While Chandler would object to the horribly inappropriate sentiment, he had to agree. True, Emma was adorable, but he felt that his own babies were the cutest little babies in the whole world. Of course, he would never say that to Ross and Rachel…unlike his wife. She never came out and said it, but she and Ross would get into "look how cute my kid is!" arguments every time the four were together.

He couldn't say he was surprised.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word…" Chandler began in an attempt to get Erica to quiet. "'Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird…'" He paused at that. "You know, I never got that," he said to his daughter. "Why would any kid want a mocking bird? What is a mocking bird, anyway? Wouldn't you rather have a pony?"

Erica giggled and smiled at him.

"Yeah, I thought so," Chandler replied with a wide smile of his own. "So let's see here…'hush little baby, don't say a word, Daddy's gonna buy you a pony…'" He paused again. "Well, that doesn't fit…what rhymes with 'pony'?"

Erica blinked at him.

"Right, like you would know." Chandler sighed and tried again. "'Hush little baby, don't…win a Tony? Eat macaroni?"

"Chandler, what are you doing?"

Noticing that Monica had walked in to stand in the living room doorway, Chandler held up the still-awake Erica. "Trying to get her to go to sleep. Hey, Mon, do you know a word that rhymes with pony?"

Monica shook her head and walked in, kissing him on the cheek as she took Erica from his arms. "Hey there, baby girl. Is Daddy being silly again?"

Chandler smiled at his wife as she held his daughter. All week, Monica had been extra-obsessive about getting the house spotless for their company. While he tried to remind her that it was just the friends they'd known for ten years, and that spotless wasn't a far cry from the house's usual condition, she insisted that she wanted the house looking extra good for the holidays. He knew there was no arguing with her over that, so he pretty much got out of her way as she organized cabinets and scrubbed moldings.

Now, they were in the home stretch, and Monica seemed to be winding down. Of course she'd kept to the strict cleaning schedule, so that day there wasn't much to do.

Except one key holiday element.

Once Erica had fallen asleep in Monica's arms, the mother carefully placed the baby next to her brother in her playpen. Then she whirled around to Chandler. "Okay, now _you_ have to help me get the decoration bags from upstairs."

Monica and Chandler's different faiths had become an issue this year, since it was the first one with the twins. The couple still hadn't decided if they wanted to raise the twins Catholic or Jewish since neither parent was particularly religious. Normally, they just celebrated Christmas with their non-Jewish friends. But, Ross' near-futile attempt to expose Ben to Chanukah fresh in their minds, they reasoned that it might be a better idea to incorporate both sets of holiday traditions. That way, when the time came for the twins to decide on their own, they would be better prepared.

That was why there were both a Christmas tree and a menorah decorating the living room. Chandler had tentatively dubbed the holiday "Christanukkah."

Monica had just raised an eyebrow and replied, "We'll work on it."

But Christanukkah it was, since neither had come up with a better title. Ross and Rachel had been enthusiastic about the idea as well. Ross loved that Emma would learn about Chanukah…and Rachel liked the idea of receiving both Christmas and Chanukah presents. Phoebe and Mike hadn't minded, though Joey had asked if that meant there wouldn't be any Christmas cookies. Monica had assured him there would, so he was okay with it.

Speaking of Joey, he would be flying back from California for the holiday season. Neither of the five remaining New York friends could wait to see him again, if just for the week he would be staying at Monica and Chandler's in his Joey Room. Neither Chandler nor Monica realized the importance the Joey Room would hold until there was the shock of Joey announcing his big move.

"Chandler! Come on, we only have five hours to get everything up!" Monica insisted as she led the way to the stairs.

Chandler snapped back to the present and ran after her. Monica had bought some last minute decorations at the store the other day, since they found that what had been enough for a small apartment was not near enough for a huge house.

"Right, so, how many decorations did you buy, anyway?" Chandler asked.

In response, Monica opened the door to the Joey Room, which often served as a storage room when its main occupant was not using it.

Chandler's jaw dropped. Every square inch of the room was covered in brown bags, which were each filled to the top with sparkly ornaments and glittery signs.

"You know, Mon, I don't think we need all this," Chandler began. "We have the tree, the menorah, and I'm pretty sure the baby spit up stain on the couch cushion is a nice shade of holiday green by now…"

Monica narrowed her eyes. Clearly, him bringing up that one time he let Jack spit up on the couch while Monica was out of the house was not the way to win the argument. Chandler gave her a weak smile as he grabbed the bag closest to him. "So, uh, I'll get the tinsel, you get the dreidels?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone!

* * *

_The ride to upstate filling them with dread, _

_The Friends just managed to keep thoughts sane in their heads,_

_Rachel and Ross wished that Emma would nap,_

_While Phoebe talked with Joey, the phone in her lap_

**Chapter 2**

"Ross, _no_!"

"But…"

"No!"

"Come on, it wouldn't be that bad…"

"Ross, no, I am not letting you put headphones on my three-year-old daughter!" Rachel insisted. She was in the passenger seat of the family's new minivan next to her boyfriend, and the two were on their way to Monica and Chandler's house. Normally, they rode the Metro-North Railroad up from Grand Central Station, but they couldn't since they needed to bring the presents.

Along with overnight bags. The entire group was staying over in Westchester as a fun way to celebrate the holiday together, rather than having to bother with driving up two days in a row. The house had four bedrooms – Monica and Chandler's, one each for Jack and Erica, and the Joey Room. Since the babies would share a room until they were older, there was an available guest bedroom. Joey had graciously moved to the living room couch to give his room to the Geller-Green trio, while Phoebe and Mike would take the guestroom.

Rachel couldn't wait, and she knew neither of the others could too. It had been so long since the six of them had really hung out together. They were sure to have a blast…especially after the kids went to bed and they broke out the alcohol.

But until then, Rachel was having a less enjoyable time on the car ride there. They had just gotten on the Cross Bronx Expressway, and traffic was at a standstill._ Stupid snow,_ Rachel thought, watching as a heavy white storm swirled around them. _If it wasn't snowing, we would've been there in a half hour._ Instead, they had been stuck in the same spot for about that long.

They were feeling it too. Emma had just discovered Barney. And their minivan came with a DVD player for the backseat.

Ross turned to her and gave her a pleading look. "Rach, if I have to listen to a song about imagination one more time, I might just start _imagining_ running Barney over with this car! And you know how much I love dinosaurs!"

"I know it's probably the most annoying thing on the face of this earth," Rachel attempted to console. "But her ears are so little! If we start now, who knows how much we'll damage her hearing…and that's before she turns thirteen and starts blasting her own music!"

Ross didn't say anything, but paused and let the music from the Barney disc be heard. Children sang out to a corny melody, "_Please and thank you are the magic words!_" He then smirked at her. "Need I say more?"

"Alright, yes, that _is_ going to drive me crazy," Rachel admitted with an exasperated sigh. Ross was being such a child about this. Didn't he care about their child's well-being at all? "But I'm not putting headphones on our daughter. If you hate it so much, I dare you to turn it off."

At that, Ross hesitated. Emma had carried over the Terrible Two's, and was likely to cry if she didn't get her way. After several arguments, they had reluctantly agreed that she most likely got that gene from both her parents.

But Ross wasn't one to back down. "Fine," he grumbled. Since the car wasn't moving anyway, he reached over and turned off the DVD.

And Emma let out a loud wail:

"_I Want Barney! I Want Barney!_"

"Like that's _so_ much better," Rachel remarked as she began to turn around and console her daughter. "Aw, Emma, baby it's okay, Mommy will turn it back on…"

Then. Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" sounded from the radio. Emma quieted down and giggled as she clapped her hands. "Yay! Baby back!"

Rachel whirled around to glare at Ross. "Ross! I thought we agreed to not play that anymore! She's at that age where she repeats _everything_! Do we _want another_ Daycare Incident?"

As "Baby Got Back" played, Rachel's mind flashed back to a couple of months ago. Emma had just started part-time daycare that year to make it easier on "Aunt" Phoebe, Emma's primary babysitter. There had been a class sing-a-long, and when the teacher asked what the students would like to sing…well…

"That was one time! And we told Emma not to repeat 'Baby Got Back' or any of the lyrics anymore," Ross reminded her, but his face had turn red from embarrassment as he had remembered it.

Rachel sighed. "Well, this song is going to end eventually. We need to be prepared." Then she bent down and rifled through the bag of DVD's she'd brought for the trip.

"Rach, can't we just tell her that Santa's not going to bring her presents if she cries? That's what my parents did and I turned out fine!"

"First of all, that's mean, and secondly, if we end up having to keep that promise and she doesn't get the…" Rachel trailed off at Emma. "D-o-l-l h-o-u-s-e, _I'm_ going to cry! And I can throw a better tantrum than she can!" Rachel insisted.

They'd gotten Emma her first big Barbie doll house for Christmas, and she couldn't wait to give it to her. It was wrapped and stowed in the trunk underneath the pile of other presents. They'd told a disappointed Emma that the "big pretty box" was a present for Erica. What she didn't know was that they were planning on ripping off the decoy wrapping paper and putting it all together so it was the first thing Emma saw when she came downstairs.

Ross let out a groan of aggravation. "So what do you suggest?"

"This," Rachel insisted as she pulled a DVD out of the bag. It was Wee Sing's _The Best Christmas Ever_, the only DVD other than Barney that Emma would watch.

Ross groaned again, but gave a reluctant nod. "Fine."

As "Baby Got Back" ended, Rachel turned around and held up the DVD case for Emma to approve. "Hey, Em! Look what Mommy's got!"

"Yay! Poofer!" Emma exclaimed, referring to the main elf in the movie.

Rachel nodded as she slid the disc in the player. "Yeah, Poofer!" She fast-forwarded through the commercials and sat back down in her seat. With a smirk at Ross, she sang along with the movie, "_We wish you a Merry Christmas…_"

* * *

Phoebe rested on the couch with her feet up and the phone base in her and Mike's apartment, on the phone with Joey. The couple was running a little late because of Mike's gig playing Christmas music on the piano at a nearby hotel. He'd just rushed in and was in the shower, so she decided to take the extra time and see how her best friend's flight had gone. "Hey, Joey!" Phoebe greeted. "How was the trip?"

"_Great! I hit on the stewardess, and she gave me _two_ bags of peanuts!" Joey exclaimed._

_Same old Joey,_ Phoebe thought with an amused shake of her head. "So where are you now? Are you at Monica and Chandler's yet?"

"_Nah. The plane landed early, so I'm going through Manhattan. Hey…do we have to get presents for Emma, Erica and Jack?"_

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Of course we do!"

"_Oh, uh…then, their presents got lost on the flight. Stupid airport!"_

"Hey, that was a good lie!" Phoebe congratulated. "But you've still got some time. It's snowing really bad outside, Monica and Chandler would probably understand if you were a little late."

"_Good. I'm going through Manhattan, you want anything from Central Perk? I'll stop on my way there and check to see if anything changed. Hey, maybe Gunther finally dyed his hair!"_

Phoebe laughed. "Joey, Gunther _does_ dye his hair."

"_What do you mean? It is white, isn't it?"_

"Yeah, sure," Phoebe sighed.

"_So are you there yet? Tell everyone I said hi!"_

"Joey, if I just asked you if you're there yet, obviously I'm not there."

"_Oh, right. Well tell everyone I said hi anyway when you do get there. Hey…you don't think Emma will want a bag of…half a bag of peanuts, do you?"_

"I don't think so," Phoebe said with a laugh. "Oh, Joey, you should see it. Ross and Rachel got her the _cutest_ dollhouse. I checked, and it _definitely_ doesn't have an aroma room. Cause, you know what happened last time."

"_Yeah, definitely want to make sure of that. So are you in the car now?"_

"We will be in a few minutes. Mike had a gig, so we're leaving a little late. He's feeling guilty about the late start since it'll take us really long to get there in the snow."

"_That's the good thing about subways, no snow to worry about."_

"How are you getting here from Manhattan?" Phoebe asked.

"_Metro-North Railroad. I didn't even know there was one of those until Monica and Chandler moved! Do you think there's a Metro-_South_ Railroad?"_

Phoebe shrugged, though Joey couldn't see her. "Maybe. There _is_ an Eastchester, so maybe there's a Metro-South too."

"_Maybe. Hey, Pheebs, I gotta get the subway to Manhattan now. I'll see you soon! Merry Christmas!"_

"It's 'Happy Christanukkah'," Phoebe corrected with a giggle. "We're celebrating both holidays now, remember?"

"_I know, but I feel disloyal to Santa if I say that. Bye, Pheebs!"_

"Bye, Joey!" Phoebe replied, then hung up the phone. She hoped that Joey got there soon so that everyone would be together again.

If she had to keep her good news secret for one more day, she didn't think she would be able to hold it in anymore.

* * *

A/N: Couldn't resist a little nod to a Christmas classic I used to watch all the time when I was a little kid. _The Best Christmas Ever_ was a tape from the Wee Sing children's videos collection. They churned out a lot of catchy children's videos in the early '90s.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone, but I AM determined to get this done before Christmas. I have time to write this weekend so I plan on getting most of it out then.

Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, everyone! I'm surprised this story is doing so well! You're all great!

And yes, the little "Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody I've got going on will continue until the end of the fic. As I'm not much of a poet, if it really sucks, I'll stop.

* * *

_When from the living room there came such a clatter,_

_After Chandler's toes the tree did make flatter,_

_While Monica did her best to make dinner in a flash,_

_She went to her husband's side to give first aid in a flash_

**Chapter 3**

Monica stood at the kitchen table and peeled potatoes. Since they were combining holidays, she was making potato latkes to go with the main course. After a search through Jewish holiday foods on Chandler's computer, she was also making a type of latke made with olives instead of potatoes. While she knew her friends would love the potato pancakes, she wasn't sure how they would embrace the olive twist. Well, however it came out, it wouldn't kill them to try something new.

To balance out the risk she was taking with the olive pancakes, she was balancing it out with some Jewish doughnut recipes she found. Apparently, doughnuts were a big part of the Chanukah dinner tradition. She knew none of her friends would have a problem with trying _those_.

"Chandler! How are those decorations coming?" Monica called across the house. Since she really needed to start dinner, she reluctantly left him in charge of putting up the rest of the signs and garland. As soon as she got a break, she was running in and making sure the signs were straight and the garland hung _just_ so.

There was a loud _thump_. And then a "son of a _bitch_!"

Monica raised her head in concern, while thankful that the babies were still fast asleep and didn't hear. "Honey?"

"I'm okay."

Monica smiled to herself as her husband came hopping down the hallway towards the kitchen, his right leg bent as he tried to massage his foot while he went. "Aw, sweetie, I told you to use the stepladder."

"But the chair was right there!" Chandler whined. He then sat at one of the kitchen tables to massage his toes. "I went to get down, lost balance and rammed my foot. The stupid big tree."

Monica paused at the familiar term, an ice pack in her hand. "Didn't you used to call Richard that?"

"Ha ha," Chandler retorted. "Let me clarify. Richard is just 'the big tree.' When we're talking about actual trees, it's 'the _stupid_ big tree.'"

"Got it," Monica laughed. She pulled up a chair next to him and applied the ice pack to his injured foot. "Does that feel better?"

Chandler winced in pain. "A little." His gaze fell on the baking dish on the counter, which contained a large pieces of fish. "Why do we have to have _fish_?" he whined. "This is the only holiday I get to have turkey, and you make fish."

"How's that?" Monica asked.

"Well, think about it," Chandler explained. "On Thanksgiving, turkey is a Thanksgiving food, so I can't eat it. But on Christmas, it's a Christmas food, so I can have it."

Monica rolled her eyes. "Or you could just give up your whole ban on Thanksgiving food altogether."

"Nope, can't do that. You can't possibly know what it feels to have to associate food with such bad memories…" Chandler hesitated, as if to acknowledge the "insert Monica's childhood obesity joke here" moment. "Let me rephrase that…"

"Chandler, it's okay. But just give the fish a chance," Monica prodded. "You know, having fish as the main course on Christmas is custom in Italian families."

Chandler paused in confusion. "But we're not Italian…are we?"

"Well, no," Monica admitted. "Unless you count my uncle Rudy, who lives in Little Italy and loves vino a little too much. But I thought the fish would be a nice touch for Joey's homecoming. He said that his family always used to have fish."

Still, Chandler pouted. "So, we carry on a tradition from his childhood, but when I suggested we honor Joey by ordering two pizzas every Friday, you say _no_? What's up with that?"

"Sweetie, we're having fish. If you don't eat it, or you don't get any doughnuts," Monica warned him.

Chandler crossed his arms. "You can't…" When she narrowed her eyes, he sighed. "Oh, alright, I'll try it. But I won't like it."

"Great, now I don't have to call Santa and tell him to put you on the naughty list," Monica mocked as she went back to peeling potatoes. "Now go finish up with those decorations. Ross and Rachel called and said they'd be here in a half hour."

* * *

_Far from dinner and safe from the snow,_

_Joey decided to try the Big Piano._

_When a pretty girl happened to appear,_

_Joey showed off, displaying his style of holiday cheer._

"_All I want for Christmas, is you…_" Joey sang along with the Mariah Carey tune that played throughout the huge FAO Schwartz. He attempted to match the long note, but lost it when his voice cracked. He then pretended nothing happened and continued, "_I don't want a lot this Christmas, there is just one thing I need…_"

"Aw, I so need _that_!" Joey exclaimed as he caught sight of the Big Piano. He'd gone to the store to get presents for the kids. But thoughts of Erica, Jack and Emma went straight out of his head when he walked in. His inner child, already much bigger than most, let loose and was taking over.

There was a crowd around the Piano, and a staff member was playing Chopsticks. Joey was mesmerized as the hot female staffer, whose nametag read "Alyssa," jumped around to tap out the notes. She finished with a wide kick of her leg and a clap of her hands. The crowd gave a polite cheer and she replied with a short bow. "Thank you, everyone! Hey, which one of you boys and girls would like to play a song with me?"

"I would!" Joey shouted. A young boy had been about to go up, but Joey rushed ahead of him and slid across the keys on the way to stand next to Alyssa. He smirked at the disappointed preteen boy.

"Jerk," the boy muttered with a longing glance at Alyssa.

Joey made a "ha ha" face, then put on a charming smile for Alyssa. "How you doin'?"

Though she tried to keep her face neutral for the crowd, Joey could've sworn he saw her blush. "I-I'm doing great…"

"Joey."

"Joey. How sweet of you to ask," Alyssa said with a short, restrained giggle. She then got a hold of herself as she went back to her entertainer routine. "So, Joey, do you happen to know the song 'Heart and Soul'?"

Joey paused. He didn't really know how to play the piano, but he remembered that his sister taught him that very song once. "Yeah! It's like this, right?" He then tapped it out on the piano. "Dun dun _dun_ _dun_, dun dun _dun_ _dun_…"

"Very good! You're a natural!" Alyssa praised.

Taking the opportunity to brag, Joey replied, "Well, I was a regular on _Days Of Our Lives_. Were you a fan?"

"Uh…no…but that's _very_ impressive," Alyssa assured him. She then cleared her throat and positioned herself on the piano. "So, you keep doing that, and I'll do the other part. Are you ready?"

Joey nodded with a concentrated nod. "Ready!"

The two began to play, and fell into a synch of exaggerated leg motions. "Heart and Soul" sounded through the store, and the crowd began to clap along. Once they finished, the crowd applauded.

"Let's give another round of applause for Joey!" Alyssa encouraged, and the crowd gave the appropriate response.

Joey felt his ego swell just a little bit, but feigned modesty. "Thanks! But you know it's much harder than it looks."

"Thanks for watching, everyone!" Alyssa shouted as the crowd became noisy and dispersed. "The next show is at four thirty!"

At that, Joey smiled and asked, "So, since you have a long break, I was thinking maybe we could get some coffee?"

Alyssa frowned in confusion and glanced at her watch. "Not _that_ long of a break. It's four twenty-five now."

"Nuh-uh!" Joey protested. It _couldn't_ be that time. Dinner was at four! If he was that late, Monica wouldn't let him have dessert!

Amused, Alyssa nodded. "Uh huh."

"_Crap_," Joey swore. "I'm sorry, it was really fun, but I've got a train to catch!" He exclaimed. He went to run to the exit, but slipped on the Big Piano and made a loud melodic sound as he slid across it on the floor. He jumped up. "I meant to do that!" he assured her, then turned and ran for the door.

* * *

A/N: Though I live in NYC, I haven't been to FAO Schwarz for a long time and really don't remember it. The scene with Joey was total fabrication and I'm sorry if I got anything wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!

* * *

_With Ross as the driver, he was tired real quick_

_Of the dinosaur on tape who was making him sick._

_Both him and Rachel would sure soon be driven insane,_

_If not for their friends' house, into view which it came._

**Chapter 4**

Ross tried to keep focus on the road. Ever since Rachel had popped in another Barney DVD, he found himself more and more irritated. "Look, if Barney was a real T-Rex, he would want to _eat_ children, not teach them manners!"

"Right, because that would work for an educational kids' show," Rachel scoffed.

At that, Ross went on another rant. "_Please_. If they were trying to be educational, they could have at _least_ chosen a herbivore like an Apatosaurus or a Triceratops…"

"Isn't Baby Bop a Triceratops?" Rachel retorted with a smug look. "She had the whole head piece, didn't she?"

Ross sighed. "Alright, they have that going for them. But making Barney a T-Rex, which was a vicious carnivore, was the stupidest decision about a television show ever made. I mean, that's like making Winnie the Pooh a cuddly bear! Now, when kids see a dangerous bear, they'll think, 'oh, maybe he'll share some honey with me!'"

"You're totally right, Barney is sending kids all kinds of wrong messages," Rachel replied, her voice thick with sarcasm. "I mean, how are kids ever going to learn how to act when confronted by a T-Rex?" She paused for dramatic effect. "Oh, that's right, they're _extinct_! God, Ross, _let it go_!"

"Fine. But you should know that I totally object to that," Ross said with a point at the DVD player for emphasis.

Smug, Rachel calmed down and suggested, "Now, what about Power Rangers? They use T-Rex as one of the good guys. Are they sending the wrong message too?'

Ross rolled his eyes. "Please, Rach, they haven't used a T-Rex since like the nineties. They're up to Jungle Force now," he informed her, rather proud of his comeback. That was, until Rachel raised an eyebrow in disbelief that her boyfriend could be _that_ much of a dork. Ross quickly cleared his throat and muttered, "Uh…it was on after Barney one day while I was watching Emma."

"Sure it was," Rachel teased.

Both parents perked up when they heard a whimper from the back seat. As he glanced in the rear-view mirror at his daughter, Ross asked, "What's the matter, honey?"

"Turn off show now," Emma whispered.

Concerned, Rachel turned around and asked, "Why? The movie's almost done."

"I'm scared. Barney's gonna eat me."

There was silence. Ross felt guilty as he realized that he had said all those things about Barney in front of his young, impressionable daughter. While he hated the show and main character, his daughter loved it and he'd ruined it for her.

Angry, Rachel glanced at Ross. "Congratulations, you just made a three-year-old afraid of Barney!" She then turned to her daughter and assured her, "Aw, sweetie, I promise that Barney's not going to eat you."

"But Daddy said!"

"Well, um, I was talking about…most T-Rex's," Ross tried to explain. "B-Barney…Barney's different. He's a good guy."

"But if all T-Wex's…" Emma began. She was at that stage where all her "R's" sounded like "W's."

Ross paused, then got an idea. Though it killed him to do it, he would have to address Barney as a "real" T-Rex. "Yes, but, not all T-Rex's are the same. Like, you see those mean, barking German Shepherds in the gated yard on the way to your daycare. But Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler's neighbor has a really sweet one, right?"

Emma paused in concentration while she took it all in. "So Barney's not going to eat me, right? Or the kids on TV?"

"Nope, I promise," Ross replied. He let out a sigh of relief when they turned a corner and his sister's house came into view. "Hey, Em, we're here!"

"Yay! Will Uncle Chandler ask me to pull his finger?" Emma asked with eagerness.

Rachel frowned in disapproval while Ross grinned and answered, "I'm sure he will."

_

* * *

_

_Now, Ross! Now, Rachel! Now, Emma and Erica!_

_Now Jack! Now Chandler! Now Phoebe and Monica!_

_After tossing her cookies, Phoebe was together with all!_

_Except for Uncle Joey, who's arrival did stall!_

By the time her and Mike arrived in Westchester, Phoebe wasn't feeling so well. Mike kept stopping and going because of the horrible traffic that was a result of the snow. The actual snowfall had stopped, but there was enough of it to throw drivers off.

Phoebe jolted forward as Mike stopped short. "Now that one just wasn't necessary."

"Sorry. There was a squirrel," Mike answered as he nodded to the creature, which had darted into the bushes.

Softened by the sentiment, Phoebe replied, "Oh, that's okay then. I'll take one for the good of squirrel-kind."

"That's very sweet of you," Mike said with a laugh. "Don't worry, we're almost there. Now, Monica won't be _too_ mad that we're late, right?"

Phoebe just gave him a sympathetic smile. "She might not let you have dessert. Don't worry, I'll slip you some of mine."

"Why would you get dessert and I wouldn't?" Mike argued.

Her hand still on her aching stomach, Phoebe replied, "Well, _I_ wasn't the one with the gig that ran late."

"But…" Mike sighed. "Fair enough."

Phoebe's eyes widened as she came up with another plan. "Hey! If Joey's still not there, we can make her more angry at him than you!"

"Aw, honey, you'd sell out your best friend for me? I'm touched," Mike joked and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Well, Joey _is_ my best friend," Phoebe explained. "But you're my ride home. Not to mention my only chance to have sex tonight."

Mike smiled, but pointed out, "We're sleeping over. We can't do it with Emma in the next room! Especially when she'll be listening for Santa Claus!"

"Oh, right, that won't work," Phoebe agreed with a disappointed sigh. "We'll have to make up for it when we get back home. I hear that New Year's Eve sex is just as good as Christmas Eve sex."

"That's good. Because I was really upset about missing Christmas Eve sex," Mike admitted, only half-joking.

Phoebe was about to laugh in response, but ended up groaning instead. "Damn it! My stomach won't give up until I throw open the door while the car's still moving and toss my cookies on the street."

"Well, you won't have to suffer much longer, because we're here," Mike announced as he pulled up to Monica and Chandler's house behind Ross and Rachel's minivan.

"Thank goodness!" Phoebe explained. Then she opened the door while the car was still on, ran onto the sidewalk…and promptly threw up on her friends' front lawn. With a satisfied sigh, she stood up and turned to her husband. "There, I feel better."

Mike frowned at the green-and-brown mess in the snow. "Enjoy it while it lasts. I think we're in trouble."

"Oh, don't worry, people know not to eat yellow snow," Phoebe explained, "I'm sure they'll know not to eat green snow either."

Still staring down at the mess, Mike replied, "That really wasn't my main concern. Are Monica and Chandler going to be okay with this?"

"Oh, yeah, Monica will totally freak," Phoebe answered. She looked around and spotted a shovel on her friends' neighbor's lawn. She retrieved it, got all of her tossed cookies, mixed with the snow it landed in, on one shovel-full and dumped it on a neighbor's patch of grass next to the street. "There we go."

An eyebrow raised in disbelief, Mike just shook his head and said, "That's great, honey…but I think we better run."

"Why?"

Mike pointed at the neighbor house's window. "The neighbors saw you, and I think they look pretty mad."

"Oh, I see," Phoebe replied. "Run for it!"

She and Mike made it from the sidewalk to their friends' entryway in about two seconds.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I couldn't help myself with the description of Grand Central Station. I go through there all the time on my way home from school. And, while I've grown used to it, I still love to glance up at the painted ceiling of the Main Concourse. Oh, and of course, I couldn't resist using "White Plains", the town near school to which I take the train.

As always, thanks for the amazing reviews! You guys are the best!

* * *

_Joey ran into the train station with panic in his eyes,_

_Up to the information booth, down the stairs he did fly._

_Down the stairs and train doors Joey made his way through,_

_But the train would be stalled, Joey found soon._

**Chapter 5**

Joey ran through Grand Central Station. He'd entered on one of the side entrances and needed to find out when and on what track the next train would be, information that was at the main information booth. but stopped when he entered the Main Concourse.

"Whoa," Joey whispered. He hadn't been in Grand Central for a long time, and forgot just how _massive_ it was. And the holiday light show going on just made it that much more awe-inspiring.

Colored snowflakes and other winter symbol holograms flashed on the ceiling in patterns while loud, instrumental holiday music blasted from unseen speakers. Most of the station patrons were unfazed and kept moving, but some stood like Joey, a smile on their faces with their necks arched back.

The whole room was at least three stories high, with grand staircases on each side. It was all made of light-colored marble, with gold-colored imprints of signs like "Dining Concourse" or "Subway." These imprints were over the four arched doorways on either side of the staircases that led to tracks. In the center stood a huge round information booth with a proportionate, ornate clock on top.

The show ended, and Joey was brought back to reality. "Crap," he swore as he realized he didn't have show-watching time to spare. He ran up to the booth and asked one of the attendants at the window, "Hey, when and where is the next train to White Plains?" That was the station in a Westchester town where Monica and Chandler would pick him up.

The attendant glanced at the screen which displayed train information. "4:38, Track 117. You better make a run for it – that's in four minutes, and the track is downstairs."

"Thanks," Joey said and broke into a run. He was thankful that he didn't have any luggage to drag him down. There were enough clothes and underwear left in his room from last time to get him through the week he'd be there, and he didn't really care if he wore those same outfits again. Besides, Monica and Chandler had assured him that he would get a some clothes from his friends as Christmas presents.

"Track 117…117…" Joey muttered to himself as he looked at the numbers on the signs above track entryways. He found it, dashed down the stairs and jumped into the first car he saw…five seconds before it closed. "Hah! Made it!"

The train lurched forward, and since there were no seats, Joey leaned on one of the short walls that made up the entryway to the car. They burst forward through the dark tunnel and stopped at one or two local stops before they reached open air.

Joey glanced out the window, amazed by the heavy snow. It had stopped on his mad dash from FAO Schwarz to the station, but it picked up again real quick. Pretty cities covered in white flew by.

But his gaze was soon distracted by a hot young woman in jeans, a blouse and wool coat right across from him. Her hair was curly dark blond, and her chocolate brown eyes were reading a paperback novel, her large pock book on the floor between her boot-clad feet.

Well, Joey didn't have a book, but he now definitely had something to do for the ride.

"Hey, how you doin'?"

The woman looked up at Joey and smiled. "Hi!"

"I'm Joey," he said as he stuck out his hand.

She kept a thumb on the page in her book on one had while she shook his with the other. "I'm Melinda. Nice to meet you."

"That's a nice name," Joey complimented. "So…"

He trailed off as the train gave a sudden, harsh lurch and screeched to a stop. Melinda lost her balance and ended up in his arms.

Joey grinned down at the embarrassed woman. "So, did the earth move for you?"

* * *

That the dreidel was interesting, Emma needed proof

So Uncle Chandler ended up looking like a goof.

He tried to spin and get the top to spin fast around,

But fell flat on the table with a taunting wooden sound.

In the living room, Chandler sat on the couch next to Ross, in front of his audience. His audience was made up of Emma and the twins, who had woken up about when Phoebe and Mike got there. Erica and Jack were old enough to sit on the floor by themselves, and were watching with mild interest.

Rachel, and Phoebe were in the kitchen helping Monica fry doughnuts, while Mike had gone upstairs to unpack. Both Chandler and Ross could smell the fried dough, and were trying not to let their growling stomachs interrupt their babysitting session.

"Now, listen to Uncle Ross…and, well, Dad…you three. He's going to teach you how to play the dreidel game," Chandler said. Both adults and Emma had a wooden dreidel in front of them. The babies had baby-safe plastic ones, which they used as teething rings.

The three old enough were going to play the actual game after Ross taught them. Despite being married to a Jewish woman for about four years, he had barely known that there was a game to go with the popular toy. As Ross had instructed, there was a pile of pennies in the middle of the coffee table, and each player had their own handful.

Emma didn't look too thrilled at the prospect. "I wanna sing Santa songs."

Chandler and Ross glanced at each other and probably had the same thought: Ben, 2.0.

"But Emma, this game is really fun. And you get to put the pennies you win in your piggy bank when you get home," Ross persuaded.

After some thought, Emma smiled. "Yay! Teach me, Daddy!"

"That's nice, Ross," Chandler muttered under his breath. "_Bribe_ your child to embrace religious tradition!"

Ross wasn't bothered by the sentiment. "Hey, I wish I thought of this sooner. Maybe I wouldn't have had to dress up like an armadillo."

"You have to admit, it was priceless," Chandler said with a laugh.

Not amused, Ross shifted focus to the game. He began by pointing to each of the symbols on the four-sided shape. "Here. The one that's shaped like a backwards 'C' is called 'Nun.' The backwards 'C' with two feet at the bottom is 'Gimel.' The door is 'Hey', and the odd shape with three lines is called 'Shin.' Together, they stand for Nes Gadol Haya Sham, which means _A Great Miracle Happened There_."

Chandler was impressed. He'd never known Ross or his family to be particularly caught up on Jewish traditions. "Cool. Where'd you learn that, your parents?" Somehow, he couldn't imagine Jack and Judy Geller teaching their children how to play with a dreidel.

"Yeah, right," Ross whispered. "I looked it up online."

"Ah," Chandler replied. Now it made sense.

Emma was losing interest fast. "When do I get pennies?"

Chandler laughed while Ross tried to not let Emma's question bother him. "Soon, Em. Let me explain the rules first, okay?"

"Okay," Emma agreed with a reluctant pout.

"See, here, the symbols each stand for something," Ross explained. "Kind of like picking a card in Candyland. Nun means that you lose a turn. Gimel means that you win all the pennies in the pot. Hey means that you win half the pot. And Shin means that you lose all of your pennies."

Chandler nodded. "Right. And you spin it like this." He then attempted to show-off by spinning the top. But he put too much force on it and it just toppled over. "Hey!"

"That's 'Shin'," Emma corrected with a smirk and pointed to the symbol that happened to be face up.

Ross held back a laugh as Chandler did his best not to give Emma a dirty look. "That's right, Emma," Ross praised. "That means that Uncle Chandler loses all his pennies."

"We weren't playing yet! That was a practice spin!" Chandler objected, embarrassed to be one-upped by a toddler.

Ross gave Emma a sidelong glance. "I don't know, Em. I think it counts," he said, his competitiveness showing. "What do you think?"

"It counts!" Emma exclaimed with a laugh at her uncle.

His hands raised in a helpless gesture, Ross said with sarcasm, "Sorry, man, majority rules. Em, why don't you try?"

"Yay!" Emma cheered. She took the dreidel and spun it as hard as she could. But because she didn't have nearly as much strength as her uncle, it spun in a perfect spiral until it gently landed on 'Gimel.'

Chandler frowned at the injustice. "Oh, come on!"

* * *

A/N: Boy, did I have fun writing the dreidel scene. But, since I'm not Jewish, I had absolutely no idea how to play with a dreidel until I, like Ross, looked it up online. If I got anything wrong and offended any Jewish readers, I'm really sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I realize the chapters are really, really short, especially for me. But I'm trying so hard to get this done by Christmas Eve that I have to sacrifice fluff in the process, lol. Well, I meant for this to be a quick read anyway. Any longer than what it is and the fluff would be overwhelming.

Thanks for the reviews! Glad you're all liking the story!

Oh, and as I'm running short on "Twas the Night Before Christmas" verses, this will be the last chapter with a verse for each section. The rest will have one for the chapter.

I know, you're so disappointed.

* * *

_Rachel tucked Emma in, in bed the child was put,_

_But to wait for Uncle Joey, not the sound of a reindeer hoof._

_Concern for Monica's floors Rachel did lack,_

_As she dumped out the doll house for her friends to attack._

**Chapter 6**

Rachel kissed her daughter's forehead as she tucked her daughter into the twin bed in the house's guestroom. "Have a good nap, sweetie," Rachel cooed, and brushed the toddler's brown hair to the side out of her brown eyes.

"Do I have to take a nap, Mommy?" Emma whined.

"Just a short one. You had a long car ride, and played a fun game with Daddy and Uncle Chandler," Rachel explained.

Emma giggled. "Uncle Chandler is silly."

"Yes he is," Rachel agreed, more than Emma could know. "Anyway, I don't want you falling asleep before dessert Aunt Monica made doughnuts!"

"How come she didn't buy them?" Emma asked in confusion.

Rachel didn't get that either, but she'd go with it. "They're a Jewish tradition, and Aunt Monica wanted to make them."

"I like being Jewish," Emma said.

Rachel laughed. "Daddy will be glad to hear that. He wants you to so much." She patted the blanket over Emma's legs and stood up. "You get some sleep, you hear? You know who will be here when you wake up?"

Her eyes widened with hope, Emma guessed, "Santa Claus?"

"No," Rachel laughed. "Uncle Joey, silly!"

"Uncle Joey! I'm gonna sleep real fast," Emma promised. Then, to demonstrate, she turned on her side and closed her eyes tight.

A smile on her face, Rachel dimmed the lights just low enough that her daughter wouldn't be scared. "Good night, sweetie."

She let the touching moment stay with her until she reached the bottom of the stairs. Then she faced in the living room and ordered, "Okay, people, we've got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it."

Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Mike and Ross did not snap to attention, but remained in the relaxed positions on the sectional watching _Miracle on 34__th__ Street_, the original, on TV. They were all taking a break from other holiday activities, since Joey called and said that unfortunately his train would be delayed "What are you talking about, Rach?" Monica asked, her eyes still on the television.

Rachel rolled her eyes at the lack of attention and stomped over to the Christmas tree. From under it she whipped out the large box and planted it in right in front of the television. "Hey!" they all shouted.

"'That's 'Shin'," Chandler remarked in a mock of a child's voice, while Ross choked on suppressed laughter.

As she gave them both a weird look, Rachel shook her head and turned back to the box. With a flourish she destroyed the wrapping paper to reveal…

"Barbie Dream House!" Phoebe exclaimed. She looked as if all her childhood fantasies had come true in one instant.

Monica nodded and agreement and went to stand next to the rather large box. "This is amazing, you guys! Emma will totally _love_ this! And her Aunt Monica can help her organize the furniture!"

"I think 'Aunt Monica' needs to be reminded that it's a present for _Emma_," Chandler joked, causing the rest of the group still on the couch to laugh.

Mike helped Phoebe up and went with her to also stand near the box. "Are you sure it's that complicated?"

"Oh, I'm sure," Ross said as he leaned forward on the end of the sectional to join the conversation. "I remember when I helped Dad put together a 'Barbie Dream House' for Monica. We were up all night."

Monica's eyes widened. "I remember that! _That's_ why you fell asleep when you were playing with your new chemistry set! Mom was stuck cleaning purple goo off the ceiling for a week!"

"Guys, that was _thirty_ years ago. I'm sure Barbie Dream Houses are at least a little easier to assemble these days," Rachel said while she ripped open the box's top and dumped the contents on the floor.

The six frowned in disappointment when dozens of plastic bags spilled onto the hardwood floor. They were filled with hard plastic pieces of every kind in light, pastel colors. A few pages of stickers that would surely take an hour to apply in just the right places were mixed in.

"Rachel, my hardwood floors!" Monica moaned at the thought of plastic against wood.

Determined not to be discouraged, Rachel pulled out the instructions. "Well, that's why we have these!"

Ross grabbed the instructions, examined the paper, and glanced back up at her. "Rach, these are only in Spanish. Is the English version in there?"

"Well, let me check…" Rachel leaned in, then surfaced with a weak smile on her face as she replied with some of the only Spanish she knew, thanks to some of her co-workers. "Habla espanol?"

* * *

_The friends worked like elves but were not merry,_

_Into the work, themselves they did bury._

_But the dinner Monica made with the sweat of her brow,_

_Was uncooked thanks to an oven temperature so low._

A frustrated scream in her throat, Monica put her head in her hands and let the scream escape. She sat cross-legged on the living room floor with her friends. It had been an hour, and they barely managed to assemble the bare bones of the house. There were still tons of plastic pieces to free from their holders and stickers to apply.

Her brother and Rachel were rushing them for fear that Emma would wake up soon. Though the others had suggested that the couple just assemble the whole thing after Emma had gone to bed, the two had insisted that they wouldn't be able to do all this work on their own, or else be cranky on _Christmas morning_ from lack of sleep.

Since they couldn't leave the doll house in the living room, they were using this time to just assemble the house and pop out the plastic furniture and other pieces. Ross and Rachel still had to get up early to drag the house out of the coat closet and arrange all the furniture and accessories.

"Come on, we can do it!" Monica cheered once she recovered from her display of frustration. The others were more worn down than she and Ross were. Gellers were hard workers. "Only a few more bags to go and we can start on the stickers."

"Oh, joy," Chandler deadpanned as he snapped "silverware" out of a plastic holder.

As she took a five-minute break, Rachel lied on the floor on her back and let out a deep sigh. "Oh, Mon, those doughnuts are calling my _name_, they smell so good! It's almost a shame the fish smell is going to come in and ruin it."

At that, Phoebe paused and sniffed the air as well. "Hey, she's right. You put the fish in fifteen minutes ago….shouldn't it smell by now?"

"I'll go check," Monica answered. She leaned on Chandler's shoulder to push herself up and headed into the kitchen. Hopefully her friends were just being paranoid, but she wanted the fish to come out perfect.

She grabbed an oven mitt and opened the door.

There was no _whoosh_ of hot air like she'd expected.

"Oh crap!" Monica swore.

The oven had turned off. Though she had made sure it had pre-heated before, there was now only the faint drift of warm air. The fish looked so raw she wouldn't be surprised if it started flopping around in the baking pan.

_Something must be wrong with the oven_, Monica thought. Thankfully it was electric, so she didn't have to worry that the house would blow up. She tried the oven knobs, but nothing kicked on. She would have to call a repair man when businesses reopened on the twenty-sixth.

But for now, her dinner was toast.

Figuratively speaking, unfortunately.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks for the fantastic reviews! If you've been following the "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" verses (and why haven't you? lol), there are only three more chapters left. I'll probably finish them all by tomorrow since I'll be busy come Christmas Eve and Day, but I will have time to at least post one chapter per day until the twenty-fifth.

* * *

_While Joey was on a train with no mistletoe or wreath,_

_He saw a man in a red suit, could the real St. Nick be underneath?_

_Meanwhile Phoebe fried doughnuts filled with cheese or jelly,_

_And yearned to tell all about the surprise with which she felt bellied._

**Chapter 7**

Joey was torn. He wanted to be upset that the train was delayed because he wouldn't be able to reach his friends sooner. But he couldn't help but think himself fortunate that he was stuck on a train with a hot woman in need of comfort. The conductor had announced that there was a technical difficulty and that it would be at least another hour before the train started moving.

"What'd your mom say?" Joey asked, his voice full of concern. Melinda lived on her own in Queens, but was taking the train through the city to her family in Westchester.

Tears in her eyes, Melinda answered, "She says that everyone sends their love and hopes that I'll get there soon. I wish I was there so much!"

"Aw, it's okay," Joey comforted. In a smooth move, he offered his shoulder for Melinda to cry on. She accepted and went over to his side of the short entryway.

"I'm sorry about this," Melinda blurted through tears. "I don't usually break down in front of strangers like this. I'm so embarrassed."

Joey shrugged. "Hey, don't worry about it. One time, I flashed a total stranger. I didn't notice she was in the room with my friends, but I didn't let it bother me. I closed my robe and walked back out."

"You're lying," Melinda teasingly accused. She'd managed to lift her head and wipe her eyes dry.

"Nope. I don't embarrass easily," Joey explained. "Especially with my friends. You're most comfortable around your best friends, right? And trust me, these are the best friends a guy could have…" Joey trailed off when he felt himself choke up at the thought. He could understand Melinda's distress over not reaching her family because his friends were like his family.

He could imagine it now…the guys watching television and the kids at the same time, while Phoebe and Rachel helped Monica prepare delicious Christmas Eve dinner. Monica had told him she was making fish especially for him. "I want my fish!" he exclaimed suddenly.

Melinda raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"I-I mean, I want my friends," Joey corrected. "See, I have this really tight group of friends, and I've been missing them since I moved to California. A _lot_. But I feel kind of guilty since I never got a chance to get presents for their kids. I sent ahead presents for them, but I had no idea what to get kids, you know?"

Melinda gave him an amused smile. "Toys, maybe?"

"Man, if it were that simple, that'd be _great_," Joey said with a long sigh. "But _what_ toy? You've got your stuffed animals, your baby toys, your board games, your Power Ranger action figures! Ross said I should just get Emma a Barbie doll, but did you know there were like, a million different Barbie dolls? I mean, how do I know if I'm supposed to get her Barbie Diamond Princess, or Barbie Entertainment Princess, or Barbie Splash and Style Mermaid…"

Melinda laughed. "I take it you've never had to buy a young girl a present before?"

"Oh, no, I have seven sisters – Barbie and I are good friends," Joey assured her. "There's just so many!"

About to reply, Melinda nodded to a train passenger in a red suit a few rows in front of them. "Why don't you just ask Santa what little Emma wants?"

Joey followed her gaze, and gasped. There, right in their line of vision, was the spitting image of Santa Claus. The large belly, the bright red suit, black boots, and a long, white beard. And the beard looked very real. "Well, even if I did," Joey mused aloud. "You think he would tell me? Or would break Santa-child confidentiality?"

"I don't know," Melinda said, his comment causing her to burst out laughing. "I doubt he _is_ Santa. But he _does_ look a lot like Tim Allen."

His face red, Joey muttered, "Well, of course it's not Santa," But for a split second, he'd almost thought he'd come face-to-face with old Saint Nick himself. "I mean, uh, the guy probably plays Santa at the mall and knows what Emma _would_ want since he listened to little girls' Christmas lists all day."

"Right," Melinda laughed, but seemed to buy his cover. She was soon distracted when a young girl approached Santa and asked to sit on his lap. "Aw, isn't that cute? She thought he was really Santa. Her mom must be so embarrassed."

Joey nodded in agreement. "Yeah. What did you want from Santa when you were little like that?"

"I don't know, I never had a long list," Melinda admitted. "But I remember there was one Christmas where I _really_ wanted an Easy Bake Oven."

"Oh, yeah. My friend Monica is a chef, and she had like six of them when she was little," Joey replied. Once again, for the moment, he wanted nothing more than to be with her and the rest of his friends.

Melinda gave him a sympathetic smile. "Is she one of the friends you're going to see?"

"Yeah," Joey said with a deep, longing sigh. "I wonder what they're up to right now."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phoebe stood over one of the deep pots used as a makeshift fryer and turned another doughnut. After Monica rushed back into the living room, in a panic because the oven wasn't working, she was forced to come up with Dinner Menu B. A quick search of the cabinets and recipes on the Internet proved helpful, so Monica managed to come up with some savory fillings for doughnuts to have with the latkes. It wouldn't be a complete meal, but it was all they could do since no take-out place was open on Christmas Eve.

Fortunately, though the oven wasn't working, the stove still was. Monica had recruited her friends to help with frying while she cut out the doughnuts and stuffed them with filling. At one point they'd had an assembly line going.

But for the moment, Phoebe was all alone in the kitchen. The six hadn't yet finished putting together the dollhouse when Emma woke up. Thankfully, the toddler called for her mother before she came downstairs. Rachel tried to get her to go back to sleep, but Emma almost had a fit when Rachel had to tell her that Uncle Joey still wasn't there yet. To distract her both from her distress and the dollhouse construction, Chandler and Mike were outside in the backyard with her building a snowman since the snowfall had let up some. Ross and Rachel were working on the dollhouse like busy little elves, and kept an eye on the twins at the same time. Monica had just run in to check and comfort after Jack had called for his mother, but not before an obsessive warning to Phoebe about not letting any of the doughnuts burn.

"'Only keep them one side for _exactly_ forty-five minutes,'" Phoebe muttered in a screechy mock of her friend's voice. Her voice back to normal, Phoebe said to herself, "Now, come on, it's not going to burn after _one_ second more."

She checked her watch as it ticked one second past forty-five. "Hah! Nothing happened! Take that, Chef Monica!"

About to take the doughnut out, Phoebe was distracted when Mike came through the back door. She had to laugh. Mike was covered in snow from hat-covered head to boot-clad foot. He had a triumphant smirk on his bright red face, though. "Hey, it's Frosty the Snow Dork," Phoebe greeted, her tone affectionate despite her teasing. "Did you guys finish the snowman?"

Mike shook his head and sent snow flying on the large towel laid down on the floor next to the door. "Nope. But Emma and I whooped Chandler's butt in a snowball fight!"

"Oh, I love competitive Mike! I wish I could do all sorts of dirty things to you right now," Phoebe replied.

A grin on his face, Mike asked, "What's stopping you?" He went to step off the towel and kiss her.

"Wait!" Phoebe warned him as she nodded to the dripping snow on his clothes and Monica's clean floors. "Monica will _kill_ you."

Mike shrugged and went to stand next to her anyway. "I'll risk it," he replied, then gave her a quick kiss.

"I like a man who would risk his life for me," Phoebe joked. She then turned back to the fryer…and gasped as she realized that she had probably left the three doughnuts in the pot for a good minute over the ninety seconds she was supposed to allow. "Uh oh."

"What's wrong?" Mike asked.

With a tentative swoop of the spider skimmer she was using to remove the doughnuts, she took one out. The dough sagged on the ladle metal. Phoebe had a feeling that if she pressed down on the doughnut, half a cup of oil would squirt out.

Mike prodded the doughnut and grimaced when a few drips of oil fell back into the pool. "Yum, good and oily, just how I like 'em," he deadpanned.

"Okay, yeah, this never happened," Phoebe told him. Mike brought over the garbage can, and she proceeded to throw out all three oil-filled doughnuts. She then grabbed three more from the ready-for-the-fryer doughnuts Monica had left on the counter and dipped them into the oil with the skimmer.

His arms around her waist, Mike rested his head on her shoulder. "Honey, I don't know if I'm okay with you spending so much time frying stuff over the stove…you know, in your condition."

"That's sweet," Phoebe replied as she gave him a brief kiss. "But I'm sure it's fine. It's not like a microwave or anything."

Mike sighed and stood upright. "I just don't like it. You know Monica would never make you help her if she knew."

"But she doesn't, so you can't blame her," Phoebe reminded him, then once she was done turning over the three doughnuts, gave him a longer kiss. She loved that he was so concerned for her. "I promise, I'll tell everyone at dinner tonight. I just want to wait until Joey is here."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Two more chapters to go!

* * *

_While Rachel and Ross worked, fixing each bed and each shelf,_

_Their charges had gone as they'd talked amongst themselves,_

_Chandler came to help and used his head,_

_But Monica finding out filled them with dread._

**Chapter 8**

"I can't feel my legs," Ross complained in a pitiful whine. He and Rachel had been sitting in the same positions for a half hour after everyone had split up. While Rachel put stickers in their appropriate places, Ross was stuck with the job of putting together complex pieces of furniture. He was almost done with a bed frame when the balcony fell off the house. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

Rachel hadn't heard him, since she was preoccupied with singing along to _The Best Christmas Ever_, which they'd played for the twins while Monica and Chandler were busy. "'Up on the housetop, reindeer pause, out jumps good old Santa Claus,'" Rachel sang. She actually seemed content with herself, her tone genuinely upbeat. "'Down through the chimney with lots of toys, all for the little ones' Christmas joys…'"

"Hey, Rach, you take requests?" Ross teased in an effort to get her attention. "How about 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'?"

Rachel frowned at him. "Ross, that's a horrible song. I loved my Nana."

"You have to admit it's a little funny," Ross joked. In rare moments of bonding as children, he and Monica vowed to teach it to their future children and encourage them to sing it in front of their grandparents as payback.

"I don't think so. I mean, it's a hit-and-run, summed up in a cute Christmas song," Rachel insisted as she leaned over to install a sticker on the other side of the dollhouse.

Ross had never thought of it like that before. Now the song seemed almost…cruel. In a funny way. "Maybe. But how can you not laugh at…'She'd been drinking too much eggnog, and we begged her not to go…'"

"'But she forgot her medication, and she staggered out the door into the snow…'" Rachel paused, then glared at him. "Damn it, Ross! Now it's stuck in my head!"

They hadn't noticed that the DVD ended. But when the DVD flashed from the movie to the play menu, Ross glanced up. At first he was glad that the babies, who had been resting against the bottom of the couch, didn't burst into tears that their show was over.

That relief faded fast when he realized that the babies were no longer in their spots.

"Hey, um, Rach?" Ross asked, the panic he felt causing his voice to crack.

"Yeah?"

He gave her a sideways glance. "Have you seen Jack and Erica recently?"

"What are you talking about? They're right…" Rachel trailed off when she realized that, while they had been working on the dollhouse, the twins had crawled off. "Oh, crap. Monica and Chandler are going to kill us."

The doll furniture that had been in his hand fell to the floor as he stood up. "Okay, the front door's closed, and they haven't learned to crawl upstairs yet. They have to either be in here, in the dining room, or…the kitchen."

"Isn't Monica in the kitchen?" Rachel asked in horror. If she found the babies before they did, they'd never hear the end of it. She leaped to her feet. "I'm on it. You look for them in here. Maybe they crawled around the tree or into the closet."

Ross nodded. "Right. I'm sure we'll find them soon, but we have to be safe. Godspeed." Rachel didn't even make fun of his melodramatics as she made a beeline for the kitchen where, last they checked, Phoebe and Monica were making doughnuts.

"Okay, if I were a seven-month old, where would I be…" Ross muttered to himself. His gaze fell on the sparkly ornaments on the tree and checked there first. His search was fruitless, and he moved on to the entryway closet…but not before he stubbed his toe on the tree stand. "Son of a...." he exclaimed.

The closet was empty as well. He ran to check the dining room, but he had no luck there either. His heart racing, he went to see if Rachel found them, so he went through the wide hallway from the dining room to the kitchen.

And paused when he heard a loud giggle from the huge walk-in closet, which had a door in the hallway as well as the kitchen. First there was Erica's high-pitched one, then Jack's typical gurgle. "Oh, thank God," he whispered, careful not to alert his sister of his presence. The kitchen was large, and the stove where his sister was surely situated was at the other end.

He twisted the doorknob and pushed…only to have it blocked by a small hook-and-eye latch. It must've been loose and closed when either Erica or Jack kicked the door shut. He could see them inside, though, and they seemed to be content for the moment. It turned out that his sister had stored a mountain of presents in there, and the babies were enjoying themselves as they tore the wrapping paper to shreds.

One problem at a time.

Careful to keep his panic in check, Ross strolled into the kitchen. Rachel was trying to be discreet as she checked cabinets and under the table. "Hey, there she is, the love of my life!" Ross exclaimed and went to throw his arms around his girlfriend.

"Oh, uh, hey honey," Rachel greeted. Her wary tone revealed that she realized he needed to tell her something about the baby situation.

Meanwhile, the other two women glanced at each other. "Aw, isn't that cute?" Phoebe asked Monica.

"Yeah," Monica replied. Then turned back to the stove. "You two either start helping or get busy in another room. There's only room for cooks in this kitchen."

"Whatever you say, Mon," Rachel assured her, then dragged Ross into the hallway, coincidentally right next to the pantry. "What is it? Where are the babies?"

As if in response, a loud giggle sounded from the closet. Rachel stared at him, incredulity on her face, silently demanding an explanation.

"Yeah, um…" Ross began. "We have a problem."

* * *

The house phone at his ear, Chandler talked to Joey as he walked down the stairs. Soon after Mike and Emma had pummeled him with snowballs, he'd been done playing in the snow for the day and went inside to get changed. Emma was still out there in the backyard with Mike finishing off the snowman. All he could say was that Ross and Rachel were lucky that their daughter had extreme tolerance for cold.

"So when do you think the train will start up again? Did the conductor say?" Chandler asked on the phone. Joey had told him all about his adventures for the day, and Chandler found it amazing that, of course, Joey would be stuck on a train with a hot girl.

"_They said an hour, but it's already been more than that. But I don't mind since I've got a girl here. And Santa!"_

Chandler paused at that. "Santa?"

"_Yeah! This guy's dressed up as Santa,"_ Joey said in a whisper. He must have been trying not to be overheard by said passenger. _"He looks like the real one, too!"_

"Whatever you do, don't try to sit on his lap," Chandler joked.

"_Ha, ha. I know it's not the real thing,"_ Joey replied. There was a pause, then Joey added in an even lower whisper, "Hey man, have to go, Melinda called home again and she needs some Joey comfort. Tell everyone I said hi!"

Chandler shook his head as he hung up the phone. Only Joey.

An amused smile on his face, Chandler turned the corner into the hallway that led to the kitchen…to find his friends huddled at the closet that Monica had warned him to stay away from since she was stowing presents there. "Hey, if you found the presents…" he paused. "Let's open mine first, okay?"

Both Ross and Rachel bolted upright with guilt all over their red faces. They hung their heads in shame and kept their hands behind their backs. Still not getting the situation, Chandler joked, "You are forgiven, my children."

"Yeah, keep that in mind when we tell you who's in the closet," Ross mumbled.

Unable to resist a gay joke, Chandler quipped, "It's Mike, isn't it? I _knew_ it!"

"No, that's not what we meant!" Rachel insisted and pointed to the closet door.

Chandler became confused as he peeked in the small crack the latch allowed. His jaw dropped when he saw a mess of wrapping paper, his delighted children in the middle. Stunned, he whirled around, but kept his voice low. "Wha…What _happened_? You were supposed to be watching them!"

"I know, I know, I know, we're _so_ sorry!" Rachel whispered back, her hands clasped in a begging manner.

Ross nodded in agreement. "We're sorry, man, but we were busy with the dollhouse and didn't notice until it was too late."

"Guys, it's not like we asked you to watch a dog and it ran away! These are our kids! Monica is going to be _very_ upset with you! I mean…" Chandler trailed off as he pulled a credit card out of his pocket. His friends sighed with relief when he slipped it in and opened the latch with ease. "This latch has been loose for _weeks_! You shouldn't have let them get in here! This never would've happened if you'd watched them, and I'd fixed the latch on the door like Monica's been asking me over and over and over…" He trailed off as he realized his part in the incident, and that his wife would surely be quick to point it out.

While he pushed open the door, Chandler said, "Monica doesn't find out about this."

Ross and Rachel nodded in agreement.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Once again, thank you all for the reviews! Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! And Happy Fourth Day of Chanukah!

* * *

_When all hope was lost, the train lurched with a jerk,_

_That Joey found presents for the kids was quite a perk._

_And while the dollhouse was a challenge that had been posed,_

_To the occasion Ross and Rachel had successfully rose._

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Joey leaned against the wall of the entryway barrier with Melinda in his arms. The crying girl had just gotten off the phone with her family again, and hadn't been able to take it when they said they had to have dinner without her. "I know it's not fair," Joey assured her. "I want to be with my friends so much, it hurts."

"Likewise. I can't believe I missed my mom's stuffed mushrooms! They're all gone!" Melinda said in a dramatic wail.

Her head on his shoulder, Joey agreed, "Yeah, it sucks to miss out on food. I mean, I keep thinking of all the potato pancakes I could've stolen by now!"

"What?" Melinda said and picked her head up. "I thought you said you were going to celebrate Christmas at your friends' house. Potato pancakes are Chanukah food."

"I personally don't care, food is food," Joey replied, then explained, "But my friends want to 'expose their children to both religious traditions' since Erica and Jack are half-Jewish. Well, we don't know for sure since they're adopted, but Monica and Chandler are treating them like they're half-Jewish anyway."

Melinda sniffed as she tried to recover from her break down. "That's nice. Especially since Christmas is so overwhelming. All the Christmas songs, the specials on TV…"

"Aw, man! I hope Chandler hasn't watched Baywatch yet!" Joey exclaimed. At Melinda's confused look, Joey explained, "See, when Chandler and I were roommates, we used to watch the Baywatch episode, 'Silent Night, Baywatch Night' _every_ year after we taped it. It's not Christmas Eve without it!"

Melinda frowned at him. "You watched that show?"

"All the time!" Joey confirmed, with no shame whatsoever.

Eager to change the subject, Melinda nodded to the guy dressed as Santa Claus. Since they had been stuck on the train for so long, other restless children had asked to sit on his lap. "Look at that," Melinda said with a nod at the scene. After the five or six children had their turn, "Santa" had unexpectedly pulled a children's book of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" out of the "Santa bag" he carried with him, and was almost done with the long poem. "That guy is fantastic, isn't he? He must have a big heart."

"He needs one with all that fat," Joey replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

Melinda laughed. "I'm sure it's just padding. It's nice for the kids' parents though. I mean, who knows when this train is going to get moving again."

About to reply, Joey pause when he happened to make eye contact with "Santa." There was an almost knowing look in the guy's eye when the train's speaker system crackled.

An excited, happy conductor's voice made an announcement. "Good news, ladies and gentlemen! The part that overheated cooled faster than expected, and we're starting the train up now! We should be moving in five minutes!"

The passengers erupted into cheers. While the gathered children thanked "Santa" and dispersed, Melinda remarked, "Well, wasn't that good timing."

"Yeah…" Joey trailed off, his gaze still on "Santa." The guy had put his book in his sack and sat back in his seat. Despite both Melinda and Chandler's warnings, he couldn't shake the feeling that this guy really _was_ Santa. _I mean, he can't use the sleigh for everyday travel,_ Joey reasoned. _So maybe he needed to take a train…_

Meanwhile, Melinda was dialing her phone. "I have to call my family and tell them the good news!"

Melinda stayed on the phone all the way until they reached the first stop. Joey knew he should call his friends as well, but his thoughts were still on "Santa."

The speaker system crackled again. "First stop, Harlem 125th Street."

In response, "Santa" got up to stand in the same entryway as Joey and Melinda. After he waved at the other passengers who had waved good-bye, "Santa" turned to Joey. "Hey, Joey, right?"

Joey's eyes widened. "You _are_ Santa!"

The guy let out a deep chuckle. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and heard your name…and that you're short three presents." "Santa" rummaged through his sack and pulled out three good-sized wrapped presents. "I happen to have three presents left from a grab bag I attended earlier. One for a young girl, and two for babies."

"Well, that's great, but what am I…" Joey began, then caught on. "Are you serious? Dude, I'll give you money for them…"

"Santa" held up his hand. "It's Christmas Eve – don't worry about it." After he'd balanced the gifts in a manageable pile, "Santa" gave the presents to Joey.

Joey was overwhelmed. Not only had he met a hot girl, but his gift problem was solved! This was the best Christmas ever! "Thanks, Santa! Hey, what's your real name?"

The door opened at the first station as the guy replied, "It's Scott."

Then he stepped onto the platform and disappeared into the crowd.

"Whoa…" Joey whispered while he took in the oddness of the situation. Then he turned around and noticed that Melinda was off the phone. "Hey, can I get your number?"

"Sure," Melinda agreed. She wrote it down on pen and paper she had in her bag. "But I thought you were just in town visiting friends. Won't they want you to spend all your time with them?"

Joey smiled. "They'll understand."

* * *

"Oh my God, are you serious?" Rachel exclaimed. Joey had called again, and she happened to be the one who answered the phone. The entire group, other than Phoebe and Emma, were together again and seated around the living room. Since they were almost, but not quite, done with the dollhouse, Phoebe had offered to stall and give Emma a warm bath after being outside in the snow for so long.

When Rachel had made a remark about how maternal Phoebe was, Phoebe had turned bright red and hurried to get Emma. It was weird…but then again, so was Phoebe.

After she listened more, Rachel informed everyone, "The train's moving again! He just passed Hartsdale and should be here in ten minutes!"

The group gave various exclamations of joy. Monica and Chandler went to grab their coats. "Alright, that means we have to leave to go pick him up," Monica explained. "You guys don't mind watching the twins again, right?"

After the three left all agreed, Chandler remarked, "Yes, honey, don't worry…_Mike_ is an _excellent_ babysitter."

Confused, Mike shrugged. "I'm okay, I mean, I babysat my cousin a few times…"

Ross and Rachel traded guilty looks as the Bings left and closed the door behind them. The two then sat back down to work on the dollhouse, this time with one eye always on the twins.

One baby, Erica, in his lap, Mike joined them. Jack had fallen asleep after his little adventure. "I can't believe you guys are still working on this," Mike said. "It's been what…two hours?"

"Neither can I," Rachel muttered. She was beginning to think it would have been much easier just to get Emma one of those battery-powered toy cars that Joey had suggested while he was trying to come up with his own present. One, big piece was better than a million little pieces.

Ross, snapped together two halves of a bookcase. "The last piece of furniture!" he declared as he held up the plastic piece in triumph.

Rachel and Mike stuck on the last few stickers and freed the last of the accessories from their plastic holders. Before long, there was nothing left to do. There were no more stickers to unstuck. No more plastic pieces to free. No more furniture parts to snap together. They might…actually…be finished. "Are we done?" Rachel asked.

"It looks like it," Mike agreed.

Ross inspected some of the rooms, then nodded. "I think we are. We're done."

"Hallelujah," Rachel exclaimed. "It's a Christmas Eve miracle!"

Mike laughed. "Oh, yes, God bless us, everyone."

As she unfolded her legs and stood up, Rachel went to get the dollhouse box. "Okay, we'll put all the pieces in here, and then we'll drag the dollhouse into the cl…" She trailed off when she noticed a white piece of paper stuck under the bottom cardboard flap. She reached in to pull out…the instructions. In English.

With the knowledge that she should've found it in the first place, Rachel crumpled up the paper and stuffed it in the pocket of the light jacket she was wearing. "Okay, guys, let's get going! Emma will be coming downstairs any minute!"

* * *

A/N: Couldn't resist putting in some "The Santa Clause" references. I love those movies. Well, the first two. The third kind of ruined it, lol.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Thank you so much for all your fantastic, wonderful reviews! I received much more than I thought I would, considering how frequently I updated this. I'm so glad you all enjoyed this!

Before I go, I _have_ to plug my other Friends' fanfiction, _Cousins_. It's your typical spin-off series about the second generation, written as individual "episode stories" (but not in script format). If you like the tone and writing style of this, those stories are the exact same way. I'll begin posting new episodes in a week or two. One episode, _TOW They All Leave Home_, is already posted and completed on my profile.

And now, it's three in the morning on Christmas, I am posting this and going to bed (I was so determined to finish this, you have no idea). My little sister will probably me waking me up to see what Santa Claus brought in the next five hours (not sooner, I hope).

_

* * *

_

_After the friends relaxed during work's temporary dismissal,_

_Announcements caused chaos that might've needed a referee's whistle,_

_The next morning was a flurry of gift giving and a child's delight._

_Happy Holidays to Friends fans all, and keep the humor light!_

**Chapter 10**

Soon after Monica and Chandler left, the rest of the group began to prepare for the meal that would take place when they got back. After they shoved the dollhouse in the closet, Ross and Rachel put on a Barney tape for the kids…and kept a _very_ close eye on all three of them. Meanwhile, Mike and Phoebe offered to set the table.

Ross walked back into the living room after offering to help Mike and Phoebe, since the kids were content to watch the movie. Rachel was snuggled next to Emma on the chaise lounge that ended the sectional. As with the Christmas tape, she sang along, this time with her daughter, both at the top of their lungs, "'If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops, oh what a rain that would be…'"

"Yeah, plants wouldn't get enough water to produce oxygen, and we'd all die, but whatever," Ross muttered to himself. He and Barney had problems going way back.

Rachel was having the most fun she'd had all day. The dollhouse was _finally _done, and she could just sit back and spend time with her daughter. And her niece and nephew, who were content babies while they sat on the couch, as mesmerized by Barney as their daughter was. They were still at the age where they hadn't really picked favorite characters yet, so Rachel could see Barney fans in the making.

Poor Monica and Chandler.

"Mommy, sing!" Emma insisted when she noticed her mother had stopped. She had gotten a second wind after the snowball fight, especially since she'd taken a nap earlier. She was still _very_ disappointed that her Uncle Joey was not there when she woke up, like her mommy had said. But she had a _lot_ of fun when she and Uncle Mike beat Uncle Chandler in a snowball fight. Besides, her mommy had said that Uncle Joey would be there in a few minutes, so she was very happy for the moment.

Rachel smiled down at her daughter. Well, never mind what Ross thought of the tape. She'd sing if she wanted to. "'If all the snowflakes, were candy bars and milkshakes, oh what a snow that would be…'"

"'Standing outside, with my mouth open wide…'" Phoebe sang to herself as she came into the living room. Her and Mike had finished setting the table, so while Mike checked on the cooling food for Monica, she went to join the others. She sighed with happiness as she watched the cute scene in front of her. The Geller-Green family were cuddling on the couch. Rachel and Emma had smiles on their faces, but Ross wore a slight pout at having been made to watch the purple dinosaur. They'd included the babies, with Erica on Ross' lap and Erica on Rachel's, while Emma leaned on her mother's side.

Monica and Chandler had the twins. Ross and Rachel had Emma, and they weren't even married yet. Phoebe's chance to have a family had come, and it was about time.

She kissed Mike when he joined her in the living room doorway.

The doorknob twisted, and Joey led the way in, Monica and Chandler right behind him. He wanted to cry at the sight of his friends. He actually had at the airport. Monica had stood there awkwardly while Joey and his best friend took part in what could only be described as a non-gay man hug for what seemed like hours, both men on the verge of tears. It had been months since they saw each other, and the added stress of Joey's prolonged trip didn't help. "Hey, everybody!" he greeted.

"Uncle Joey!" Emma shouted as she jumped off the couch. He'd just put her down after hugging her when Phoebe's voice rang through the room.

"I'm pregnant!"

Mike was disappointed at the unexpected announcement. "Honey! I thought we agreed that we'd say it at dinner!"

"I'm sorry, Mike, it's just that…Joey walked in the door, and I couldn't hold it in any longer!" Phoebe exclaimed. She didn't look the least bit remorseful as she began to jump up and down. "Well, don't just stand there! Tell me how happy you are!"

On her cue, chaos ensued. Joey ran to wrap her in a tight bear hug. Monica and Rachel were so excited that they just jumped up and down and hugged each other. Chandler and Ross were considerably calmer as they each shook Mike's hand in congratulations.

Emma stood back near the babies and wondered what in the world caused all the adults she knew to act like that.

Within minutes, though, they had all moved to the dining room table for dinner. While Monica sat at the head of the table across from Chandler, she couldn't help but be disappointed that she didn't have a better feast…especially after Phoebe's happy, unexpected announcement. This should be a grand celebration feast for Joey's homecoming and Phoebe's pregnancy. Instead, it was an artery-clogging mess of latkes and doughnuts. "I'm so sorry, everyone. I know it's not the best…"

"Why in the world not?" Joey asked, his tone incredulous. "Heck, I say smother it all in cheese and call it a night."

The rest laughed and made their plates. Rachel grimaced as she put a latke and a doughnut on her excited daughter's plate. "This is a one-time thing, Em…"

"Hey, Pheebs," Joey said as he loaded his own plate with everything he could reach. "What are you going to name it? How about Joey? You know both girls and boys have it now? I personally think it's very masculine, but I think for your girl it could work. I mean, she's bound to be a tough chick if she's anything like her mother…"

Phoebe blushed at the compliment and considered it. "I don't know, I was thinking of giving it my name. I mean, it worked out well for Erica," she said, with a nod to the babies, who were each seated by their mother in high chairs.

While his friends chatted, Chandler noticed that Monica still seemed upset. She cut up the babies' food with extra vigor and wore an aggravated frown on her face.

Then he smiled. He knew what would cheer her up.

He clinked his glass with his fork. "Hey, everyone, I think it's appropriate to make a toast here," Chandler said as he raised his glass and stood up. His friends and wife smiled at him, curious.

"First of all," Chandler began. "Phoebe and Mike, congratulations. Although, Mike, I think it's fair to warn you that after Phoebe conceived triplets without much effort, you may need to pick out six names or so. Luckily, there are six of us, so you won't have to do much work."

The group laughed, but Phoebe and Mike's eyes widened as they realized the very real possibility of multiple births.

"And Joey," Chandler continued. "Great to have you home, my man. Finally. And while I'm sure we'd all like to believe that was the real Santa on the train with you. I mean…why take a train when he has flying reindeer, for crying out loud!"

Joey nodded as if to say "that's true," while the rest laughed again.

"Ross, Rachel, I know you've had a…long, hard day," Chandler continued, careful not to mention the dollhouse with Emma in the room. "But hey, I say it's better than dressing up in an armadillo costume."

Finally, Chandler's gaze fell on his wife, who was smiling, touched by his remarks so far. "And, Mon, I know this isn't what you planned…but I say it fits. A smooth holiday dinner just isn't us. I mean, it's not a holiday without me on my back in a box or reminiscing about past lives in World War II."

At Mike's confused look, Phoebe whispered, "That was me." When he was even more confused, she added, "I'll tell you later."

Amused, Chandler finished, "All I'm saying is, today was a crazy mess…because anything else would've been boring. So here's to an ideal Christmas."

"And a perfect New Year," Monica added.

The friends agreed as they clinked their classes.

* * *

"It's Christmas!"

Emma yelled as she popped up between her parents. At first, she was somewhat confused since she wasn't in her room at home. But then she remembered that she was at Uncle Chandler's and Aunt Monica's, so she continued to scramble out of bed. "Mommy! Daddy! Wake up!"

Both of her parents moved _way_ too slow. The two looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and, for some reason, groaned. "Em, honey, it's only seven," Rachel pleaded. "Go back to sleep."

"But Santa was here! I knows it!" Emma insisted. She ran out the door and peered down the stairs.

Her eyes widened. There were piles of presents, and a big thing she couldn't really make out. But she was sure it was for her. "Come on! Santa came!"

She frowned in disappointment when her parents only closed their eyes again. Then a baby's cry pierced the quiet. "Come on! One of the babies is up too!"

Her parents glanced at each other, then let out another groan. "Alright, Em, we're getting up. Put your slippers on," Ross told her.

"Yay!" Emma cheered as she ran to slip on the slippers she'd brought with her. They were bright red and matched her Christmas nightgown her mommy bought her.

Her parents went ahead of her, her daddy getting the video camera. Her parents told her to stay upstairs for an agonizing _five minutes_ while they woke everyone up. Before long, everyone else _except her_ was waiting downstairs for her entrance. "Can I come down _now_?" Emma whined, sure that if she couldn't, she would cry.

"Come downstairs, sweetie! Look what Santa brought!" Rachel called.

An excited yelp escaped her as she flew down the stairs. She almost tripped when she stopped short because of what her mother had been talking about.

It was Barbie Dream House! She couldn't believe it! All set up…her own Barbies were even set up on the furniture, ready to play!

"_Barbie Dream House!_" She shrieked as she ran and threw her arms around it. "Thank you, Santa!"

She began to inspect every inch of the house, when her mommy kneeled down next to her while her daddy worked the video camera. "Honey, I know you want to play with the dollhouse now, but Aunt Monica, Uncle Chandler, Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Mike all got you presents too."

"And Uncle Joey!" Joey insisted as he gave Emma a large wrapped box. At the others' surprised looks, he explained, "Yeah, that Santa guy? He had three presents left over, two for babies and another for a young girl. Weird, huh?"

While the adults thought about that, Emma ripped into her uncle Joey's present.

It was what she wanted – a Barney doll all her own, just like the one in the show. She'd wanted one for the longest time, but didn't ask because her daddy didn't like Barney, and her mommy always wanted her to play with Barbies instead. "Thank you so much, Uncle Joey!" Emma exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around her surprised uncle's neck. "I wanted one so much!"

"Oh, uh…you're welcome," Joey replied, surprised

As Emma went on to unwrap the rest of her presents, the adults gave their gifts to each other. After she'd finished her last present, a play chef kit from her Aunt Monica (and a toy spray bottle…Emma really didn't know how much fun that would be), she sat back and watched her family. She liked this new Christmas morning. She remembered the last one, where it had been just her and her parents. This way was better. It gave Emma a fuzzy feeling inside to see her favorite adults this happy.

This was definitely, in her book, her best Christmas ever.

Never mind that, though. Emma was busy. Aunt Monica just sat next to her to teach her how to "arrange furniture in an efficient manner." Whatever that was.


End file.
